Maggie's Independent Reading Term 3

There is one element of this book that makes me extremely frustrated. More than the slow plot and the shallow characters-- I absolutely despise how the book talks about sex and I especially despise how the author talks about sex and roles in marriage. This author repeatedly inserts the ideas that sex in marriage is due to a husband, all for his pleasure, and that a husband is exempt from rape. Christine and Ben are in a unique position due to her memory condition, yet the author, S.J. Watson, continues to enforce these misogynistic rules onto them. First, the idea that sex in marriage is due to a husband is permeated throughout the book. When Ben first attempts to have sex with Christine, Christine has to fight him off. She then feels immediately guilty for depriving and describes his disappointment and “struggle” sympathetically. Christine then says, “I am his wife; he should not have to seduce me everytime he wants us to have sex,” demonstrating the idea that non-romantic sex is o...

This book has been heralded as a “pure page-turner” and “heart-racing” and in my opinion, the ending is the only part which lived up to this praise. In the final pages of Before I Go to Sleep , it is revealed that Ben is not who he says he is. Christine talks with Claire on the phone, who says Ben had a scar on his face, unlike the man who says he is Ben. After confronting him, Christine learns that he is, in fact, the man she had an affair with before she lost her memory. His name is Mike, and they met in a coffee shop and fell in love, though Mike more than Christine. When Christine tried to break it off, Mike became enraged and lured her to a hotel in Brighton under the premise of a romantic night with the real Ben. He then severely assaulted her, leaving her on the side of the road with a damaged memory. As Christine recovered, he stayed close by and when her real husband divorced her an handed her over to a mental asylum, Mike stepped in. He claimed he was her husband and broug...

In Before I Go to Sleep, my first instinct is that Christine will be reunited with her long- lost friend Claire. Ben told Christine that Claire moved to New Zealand, but he has lied so much I doubt this is true. Also, it would be a horrible plot device to have Christine suddenly remember it all (although to be honest, I would not put it past this author). I think Christine needs a little help, a little nudging to remember a new piece of information, and Claire would be good for that. She knew Christine before Ben, so would not have the same allegiance to him, and knew her all throughout the accident and recovery system. Ben is obviously doesn’t want Christine to see Claire, so Claire must have some information from the past that Ben doesn’t want Christine to know. The reason for the separation, I suspect, was that at some time during the recovery Christine found out through Claire about who caused her memory loss, and Ben didn’t want Christine to know, so he intentionally cast her o...

“I said nothing when Ben came downstairs, nothing as he sat on the sofa across from me. I fixed my eyes on the television. A documentary about wildlife. The inhabitants of the ocean floor. A remote-controlled submersible craft was exploring an underwater trench with jerky twitches. Two lamps shone into places that had never known light before. Ghosts in the deep.”  In this quote, Christine has just found out that Ben lied to her about yet another important part of her life. Ben had told her that her closest friend, Claire, who Christine has remembered flashes of, moved to New Zealand, when in fact she has been living close in England, one phone call away, the entire time. Christine now has to pretend as if she doesn’t know, for if she reveals that she does, she’ll reveal that she’s been seeing the memory specialist Dr. Nash, who told her about this friend. She is filled with hate for Ben for keeping this vital piece of information that could have alleviated her from pain from her...

After having her worst fears about her son confirmed, Christine ventures into her room alone. “Naked, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my alien body. I forced myself to look at the wrinkles in my skin, at my sagging breasts. I do not know myself, I thought.”  Christine has discovered in the space of twenty-four hours that she had a son and that he died. If she hadn't had the accident and if Ben hadn't lied to protect her (thus making her feel she couldn't trust him), she could have gone through that joy and then grief with her husband and been able to process it in a healthy way. Instead, she must keep to herself and not show the true extent of her knowledge and emotions. However, Christine seeing a stranger's body in the mirror symbolizes the extent of her devastation. Our bodies sustain us and we are utterly dependent on them. Our minds and bodies move together so often that they are one. So when Christine looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognize her...

“I cannot imagine how I will cope when I discover that my life is behind me, has already happened, and I have nothing to show for it. No treasure house of collection, no wealth of experience, no accumulated wisdom to pass on. What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?”  This quote demonstrates the most significant theme throughout Before I Go To Sleep: that one’s identity is based upon their memories. Christine is radically changed based upon how much of her past she knows-- she embodies her motherly identity she remembers she was pregnant at some point, then becomes fiery and fierce when she finds out that her son has died. She remains calm and passive when told that a car accident took away her memory, and then embodies a powerful yet damaged persona when she realizes it was not, in fact, a car accident. Her personality changes at each new piece of information, at each revealing of the truth, and her sense of who she is--a mother, a woman, a writer-- changes as well. ...

Christine’s husband, Ben, is my prime suspect for the cause of her memory loss. He has an advantageous position over her that he uses to keep Christine from her objective, shown through his patronizing of her, his lies, and his decision about memory treatments. Before all that, though, I think the whole situation very suspect. Ben has all the control in their relationship, as Christine is dependent on him telling her about her whole life, and she has no choice but to believe him. All of Ben’s characterization leads to the same suspicion of his guilt. Firstly, he is very patronizing of Christine. He smiles when he explains her story to her, he approaches her like she is a “frightened animal”, and tells her he knows and understands all of her worries. He also attempts to have sex with her, though knowing she views him as a stranger, and she has to push him off, much to his extreme disappointment. He thinks he deserves this sex and that he knows everything she thinks, meaning she's le...